Relationships: my journey I'm scared to take this chance...I need to lean and trust.

Hey all!! I had an amazing experience this weekend...I learned soo many things about myself...I learned that I need to lean on God more so than I have...and God I hear ya..

In the last couple weeks I have come to terms with a relationship I was trying so hard to cultivate...and every time I tried and I mean above and beyond I did not receive anything in return....and I reached out to an amazing person who has dealt with the same situation I am struggling with now..and she said "Call them out on it." At first I was "Yeah, ya know you are right I should" and something in my mind buried it..and the problem with burying it in our minds is that it will come back out later and it may come out where the hurt is so intense bad things get said...and I had rue false relief that if I bury it and play it safe I won't get hurt and after this weekend "why, would I put myself thru that?" I should of taken her advice and done it..it's the hardest path to take but it's all about the outlook..which today Pastor Cory talked about in his message and by burying it I was trying to take control of the outcome and not trust in my God in his outlook of my situation. 
With what I have learned the last few days...I need to re-examine my relationships and see which are worth salvaging...I want relationships that will help elevate me and I can elevate them...Lord, I'm sick and tired of trying so hard and seriously getting hurt...if my choice is to step out of my comfort zone and protect my faith in relationships it will be hard but you know my story, you know my thoughts and feelings..you know my heart better than anyone..I am your daughter and you want me to be holy meaning you take me as I am..I make mistakes and you forgive..you still love me no matter what..and I am blessed to have this love and your promise to guide me thru with your light in the tough choices and paths I need to take to understand why I'm in these situations..you made me strong by making me be transparent and vulnerable with myself...which 

I am the biggest critic to myself...I feel what my heart desires but my mind thinks it knows better and has control...my mind does not have control my heart does only thru my trust in your plan, my job as your daughter is to lean on you when I need help..when I am at my darkest..and Lord you have seen them several times even before I accepted your love into my heart and surrendered my control..even though you already know I will test it by thinking I know what's best..but I don't...you are God I am not..I ask for your strength and courage in dealing with my present relationships and listening to you telling me what I need to do with your guidance..we will have many conversations together throughout this process and yes Lord you already know this..thank you for being there and continuing to be there for me...I am going to keep seeking for you to speak and show me the way to walk with you...Amen!