Day One Of My Prayer Journey

I give credit to "The War Room" as a launching place for my Faith. This was the first ever Christian movie I had ever seen. Before I became a Christian, I could of cared less and had no desire to even think about watching a Christian movie. The moments following the divine proof that there is a God and there is only one, I had been walking around thinking, I want to know what I can do/read/hear to start my journey into this new life. Prayer has always been a weakness of mine. Mostly due to the overwhelming feeling of saying "the perfectly constructed words" I am going to say this with a grain of salt, but when you make the decison to become a believer you feel inadequate when hearing others pray outloud. And I know it wasn't meant to come off like that but personally this was a glass ceiling preventing me from being all that I can become and will become. The white elephant in the room is the feeling of not being good enough among your peers. My husband and I have personally been in this situation, and to be honest its discouraging. And its the last thing you want when exploring faith. You can go one of two ways..one you put on your big girl pants and be confident in the love of the Lord or two, it pushes you away from continuing your knowledge in your journey. Before you know it, you end up leaving the group or in any case could be a congregation. Pressure from other Christians to force you to pray for someone when you did not volunteer is the worst. Sadly, this happened to me within our last Small Group. I was finally getting comfortable with those around me in asking questions and hearing others struggles, then all of a sudden we sit, bow our heads and one person who feels led to starts the prayer to end the meeting and the other closes the ending prayer. As I was listening to others pray in silence I agreed on what the others were saying, then I was put on the spot as our heads were bowed and was shouted at in a loud whisper that all could hear including the couple whom we were praying for, "hey, its your turn to pray for........" I didn't respond to the first inquiry...then the whisper got louder "HEY ITS YOUR TURN TO PRAY FOR...." I am defensive in my own weakness of not being enough in all aspects of my life, so I responded "NO!" And yes, all who were in the circle heard me. After this my mind, body and soul shut down and I left the prayer circle not physically, but mentally and spiritually. After this meeting was over, I decided I don't want to be a part of this group anymore.
Reasoning for the backstory is to explain why I have this crazy desire to learn how to pray effectively in all aspects of my life. I guess something just clicked saying "You can do this, you shouldn't get discouraged if you feel you don't have the perfectly positioned wording in a prayer..especially when praying for someone else. I am reading "The Battle Plan for Prayer" I had my reservations before but then I thought well shoot I'll watch the movie for the 3rd time lol. And I was able to focus on things that I didn't before when I saw it the first two times. I think because I was at the point of I have to be able to do this. as a Christian Woman and what I will become as I grow in my faith. I literally had a notebook a next to me writing down little tidbits down. This is how God really can speak to you, if your mind and heart are open there are things you pick up on that you never. knew were possible, or in this case you never paid attention to.
Day One:

Heavenly Father, I come to You in Jesus's name, asking that you draw me into a closer, more personal relationship with You. Cleanse me of my sins and prepare my Heart to pray in a a way that pleases You. Help me know You and love You more this week. Use all circumstances of my life to make me more like Jesus and teach me how to pray more strategically and effectively in Your name, according to Your will and Your word. Use my faith, my obedience and my prayers this week for the benefit of others for my Good and for your Glory. In Jesus's name, Amen.

Now this prayer, I pray before I even start my next chapter in my study. Reading this prayer strikes up scripture I remember from reading in the Bible under different circumstances. This is definitely a carefully laid out prayer. It covers, my confession of my sins, praise for what God does, describes my relationship with Jesus from an intimate place. It also reminds me to be thankful for other people and to pray for other people. I know personally this prayer will take me awhile to be able to create one with all these points and be able to speak it loud and proud. As soon as this chapter started I felt as if yes this is where my spirituality needs to be perfected. Without the aspect of prayer in my spiritual journey I cannot move on to growing more. Kind of like having to pass algebra before heading towards geometry. You cannot have one without the other. In algebra you learn the basics of formulas, in geometry you build on those formulas by adding in more unknowns. I can say I am really excited about this journey, we can all learn to be better prayers not just for others but for ourselves, our families and lets not forget the most important GIVE THE GLORY TO GOD!