Good Morning...
Monday-was a day that emotion hit me pretty hard...
The night was hard, she slept for 3 hours on her own, she woke up for feeding, fed her changed her diaper cuddled her laid her back down she had other plans, was soo tired from Saturday night was another restless night for Avriel and me. Fed her at 6 Monday morning, she finally went to sleep in her rocker and I felt soo bad to do this to Joe but he wasn't up 15 minutes and I said "I am going to bed", I felt terrible our time together seems like it gets smaller and smaller. He came in kissed me and left for work. After about 15 minutes the little ball of fire was up again. Took me forever to get her to sleep. Ended up laying on the couch with her in my arms to finally get her to sleep. I wasn't able to pump wasn't able to tidy up or do dishes. I felt helpless. Towards the afternoon I was watching Leap Year and got teary eyed thinking to myself..Joe and my time together is limited during the day the weekend you name it its limited. We don't sleep in bed together the entire night, I hate leaving him to tend to Avriel, as a mom and a woman its a sacrifice every day to keep the marriage, housework, love and baby together. Gives me a new appreciation for women everywhere that have children. Its sad to think I am counting down to when she grows up, I say that now and then when it happens I am sure will get emotional yet again that she is growing up too fast. Patience is something you have to earn, there are those days where nothing helps and days where things go smoothly. I pray on those bad days for tomorrow and I wanna keep those smooth days in a box somewhere to use whenever I need. Spoke to a friend of mine yesterday that made me feel special. She is a working mom with two kids, one is 3 months older then Avriel and the other is a beautiful sassy spitfire. Sometimes you need to rely on that support system that at times becomes your window for perspective and self reflection. There is nothing wrong with reaching out for a confidence boost in your ability to be a mom and to handle lifes obstacles. I appreciate my support group more then ever and realize to not take friends for grant it, also makes me want to work on keeping those friendships stable I am def one that needs to work on that, for those of you who have been there through struggles with me know this, Especially my best girl Ashley, who is also home with her baby boy oh and taking care of her husband lol :) Need to make a point everyday to shoot out a text to family and friends. Well this is my banter for the lovely Mondays we have all become accustomed too, hope by surviving this day I have earned a smidge of patience to help me deal with my little obstacles every day.
On to the next day!!
Monday-was a day that emotion hit me pretty hard...
The night was hard, she slept for 3 hours on her own, she woke up for feeding, fed her changed her diaper cuddled her laid her back down she had other plans, was soo tired from Saturday night was another restless night for Avriel and me. Fed her at 6 Monday morning, she finally went to sleep in her rocker and I felt soo bad to do this to Joe but he wasn't up 15 minutes and I said "I am going to bed", I felt terrible our time together seems like it gets smaller and smaller. He came in kissed me and left for work. After about 15 minutes the little ball of fire was up again. Took me forever to get her to sleep. Ended up laying on the couch with her in my arms to finally get her to sleep. I wasn't able to pump wasn't able to tidy up or do dishes. I felt helpless. Towards the afternoon I was watching Leap Year and got teary eyed thinking to myself..Joe and my time together is limited during the day the weekend you name it its limited. We don't sleep in bed together the entire night, I hate leaving him to tend to Avriel, as a mom and a woman its a sacrifice every day to keep the marriage, housework, love and baby together. Gives me a new appreciation for women everywhere that have children. Its sad to think I am counting down to when she grows up, I say that now and then when it happens I am sure will get emotional yet again that she is growing up too fast. Patience is something you have to earn, there are those days where nothing helps and days where things go smoothly. I pray on those bad days for tomorrow and I wanna keep those smooth days in a box somewhere to use whenever I need. Spoke to a friend of mine yesterday that made me feel special. She is a working mom with two kids, one is 3 months older then Avriel and the other is a beautiful sassy spitfire. Sometimes you need to rely on that support system that at times becomes your window for perspective and self reflection. There is nothing wrong with reaching out for a confidence boost in your ability to be a mom and to handle lifes obstacles. I appreciate my support group more then ever and realize to not take friends for grant it, also makes me want to work on keeping those friendships stable I am def one that needs to work on that, for those of you who have been there through struggles with me know this, Especially my best girl Ashley, who is also home with her baby boy oh and taking care of her husband lol :) Need to make a point everyday to shoot out a text to family and friends. Well this is my banter for the lovely Mondays we have all become accustomed too, hope by surviving this day I have earned a smidge of patience to help me deal with my little obstacles every day.
On to the next day!!
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