Revelation

Morning everyone! So, this morning I finished reading "How to be more than just a good Bible study girl" by Lysa Terkeurst it really got me thinking. Every moment I read this book I needed to hear what she had to say. Every bit of witty, real and theological words she stated drew me closer to God.
I know my family and I are in his Grace. He has proven that to me over and over again. I truly was a skeptic and I don't mean the type that just doesn't care but the full blown type that argued several times with my husband about evolution and how no one person could create the universe and all its parts. I simply believed this thought but I could never back it up. I would use excuses like "if there is a God why is there abuse, hate, despair, loss and war?" I never actually broke these down into smaller parts to understand the meaning behind the acts of terrible people. I simply blamed him....as I state this over and over in my head, I'm like wait a second "blame him?" I'm already showing a glimpse that he does exist or has existed. I cannot blame people..I need to take the focus away from a person and focus on the ultimate enemy in our lives...the enemy that we struggle with both on the surface and deep in our souls. Who is that I wonder? Then thinking about it if there is Ultimate Good then there is an Ultimate Evil. Ying and Yang, that is a proven fact, where there is good there is evil and our World balances on that very teader totter every day, hour, minute and second. The acts committed by those who cause harm are lost souls that needed the Lord's love. Once I figured that out I again being the skeptic I am thought well based on "Bible Thumpers" God loves everyone and everything...if that's the case then again why are these horrible people even on the Earth? Then I think about how God destroyed the Earth in the Book of Noah, remembering this from my summers at Vacation Bible School and Awana..I again argued God's existence. If he destroyed the World once why can't he destroy those who commit sin? Why are they even able to walk this Earth? He destroyed the Earth once why not get rid of these people? Another argument I have used to further my skepticism. But, recently I started my own Bible Study program via the Bible App which I started because it was called "Learn how to trust God in everything" this study broke down the story of Noah into more than just a dude, his family, and sets of animals..it's about God realizing that we are all human and we make mistakes on a daily basis...we are not puppets that he can force to do whatever he wants us to do..as stated in the Book of Genesis..."Then the Lord asked the woman, what have you done? The Serpent deceived me, she replied That's why I ate it" Genesis 3:13-14 the Serpent in my opinion is the glimmer of Evil, the glimmer of the Devil..even though we were made in his image he were made with flaws..once God realized that destroying the World and only keeping those who trust in him and who are 100% good does not solve the problem..the World needs balance of Good and Evil..we all want Good to prevail but we as humans do not have that power to be good all the time..we need a teacher, a friend..someone who loves us for who we are...but then I ask myself we still sin even though the purest of heart makes mistakes the only way God can assure us our good he sacrificed bigger than you and I can ever understand..he sent his son Jesus to Earth by a miraculous event of Mary he was sent to show the people God does exist, God loves us for who we are with our flaws and sins..he gave his only son Jesus to sacrifice.  Our lack of understanding and our repeated skepticism he showed us love and his heart..to this day we sin everyday whether it is through our words or thoughts, in order to be forgiven we have to admit we are wrong and God is right..he loves us for us, all he asks in return is that we do right by him, listen before speaking, the Serpent lies in each and everyone of us in many different forms..and as a new follower of God and Jesus and the Bible. .the Serpent will not dissappear the only way we can silence him is by confronting our flaws and asking for forgiveness and continuing to love God for he has accepted us as we are. Simply right? Why can't we accept his Love?
This is a very simple but complex notion..it's always harder to admit wrong doing than to go on with your life thinking about yourself and your wants. Our pride can be the death of us.
I used to feel bad for being a skeptic and questioning everything about him and the Bible but why? All it shows me is this was God's way of leading me to him..he knows my personality, he knows every little thing about me this was my test made by him personally for me..my journey started out the same as any skeptic but the ways he knew I would question is my own..and always will be. Lysa's always been wanting and searching for love in this book she breaks down her life from when she was a child to an adult and as a child there were events that took place that God tested her personally as an adult her tests were also made personal to her, to her personality to her thoughts and words. She has felt the Serpent tugging at her heart between making cookies to making the choice to run and to seeing glimpses of God in her struggles when she had to speak and was rained on. She openly admits her weakness and vulnerabilities and explains how God loves her through those.  If I wouldn't have said yes to MOPS, said yes to Bible Study, yes to admitting to myself I don't know everything about God and I'm curious..show me the way Lord I wouldn't have decided on whim to blog this morning. The best part is a whim is just God reaching in and pulling out understanding personally for me..he knows how I process information I need to write/type as my mind flows and in the end he assures me and knows it helps me to understand him and his love for me..
I am not an expert on God or how to be a good Christian and for those of you who think this after reading my blog I am a seed that is just now growing into his Love and my understanding of him. I am no where close to being a beautiful flower, I may not even see myself as a full blown flower only God will see it in me and I will not see it until I meet him in Heaven..and I'm okay with that..I have a lot of intricate growing to do and having people like Lysa Terkeurst fulfilling her purpose to help me understand God is a beautiful thing. People and thoughts come into our lives and minds all the time. We see something that tugs at our hearts, a saying, a story..our act alone of emotion and feeling is God in us..we need to be silent and listen to God and understand why they are there..her book was meant for me to read and my revelations from it differ from those of other people because we are all human and God gives us people to walk with us during our seasons of life. Our seasons are our own. We will never understand people and why they do things, that's his job, he is the judge, everytime you are mad at the World mad at people ask yourself Why?  The Why isn't our concern it's his. Our purpose is to see the good and offer our love, courage and strength. I say this now but trust me I will be guilty of questioning the why. We all will and are. We are human..he loves us as long as we are open to his love, we don't necessarily have to agree but we need to pray. He is the only one who can offer up an explanation. Well its been a very revealing morning so far on this Thursday. All I can say is God is here and is speaking with me.