Well today November 1st was one of the most beautiful days I have ever seen. I'm sitting outside enjoying this weather with Avriel and her cousin Paisley. A rush of emotion hits me and takes me back to when I was about 6 months pregnant and a struggle. The struggle was impairing me soo much it impacted my sleep I would remember those nights and those days I'd just go through the motions trying to figure out what I should do...do I stay home can we make it work or do I continue working. You really don't think it's that tough of a decision to make until it's your decision and you cannot judge or tell anyone what to do unless you are in those shoes. Then also why does this stuff come back over and over again...is it because part of me feels guilty? Or does part of me feel like I'm not busy enough or what? Guess we will chalk it up to those awful stereotypes we are placed in..not by God but by the media. And trust me I was one of those people...I would look at mom's that came in and would be like wow they get to go home and relax, bake all day, watch their soaps and take naps..and maybe that's where my guilt comes from because I was one of those horrible people and it had nothing to do with my conscience but had to do with what I saw and I didn't know God and I didn't know any better. Man did God sure show me the way...he gave me a very active blessing and we do not get a break at all..we don't get to punch out and take a lunch or a 15 minute break...some days are harder than others some days feel like they will never end. I feel all those times I was in the car by myself there just weren't enough lol...and now I cherish those times. Going to the bathroom by yourself is seen as a luxury man even shaving your legs is one haha!! And I know I'm not the only one and on those days I say oh man I can't wait to have those back I'm going to want to hit the rewind button and wish time didn't go by soo fast. I'm a very lucky woman to be given the opportunity to stay home with our daughter be available to watch her grow with her cousins..because let's be honest God is the only one who knows our story. He was teaches us in Scripture to be courageous to be kind and to be faithful...it's his way of letting us know anything can happen and we must hold on to the good and the bad because after every bad season is a new one and the outcome of those is not our concern. It's so simple when we break it down this way but we are all a stubborn kind. I am so blessed in the life I've been given. You are good God and I will be diligent in listening to your words and teaching our daughter the ways of you.
Comments
Post a Comment